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I wasn't expecting that I wouldn't be able to not think about my "not-yet-here" kids. (Yes, that's at least a double negative, possibly more). Will we be adopting two or one? Are they born yet? Do they know the love of a family? Do they have enough to eat tonight? What are their names? How old are they? What is their first mama going through right now? And, most often - When will they be coming home?
I cherish this point in my life, I really do. I love the ages and stages of my kids. I adore my family and the fun we have together. So don't worry, I'm not wasting away the present by dreaming about the future. :) But in all of our moments I am reminded - we are not all together yet. When my two are running around, laughing and playing, sometimes I think for a moment about the day when there are three or four all laughing together. Sometimes when we sit down for meal, my mind drifts to a future time when all of our dining room chairs are being used.
So yeah, the waiting is pretty stinky. Especially in a culture where we really don't have to wait for much of anything. (Hello? I use the Keurig to heat up water for Jackson's hot chocolate, because it's quicker than the old-fashioned way of using a microwave. Tea kettle? What's that?) But at the same time, I can choose to rejoice in the waiting.
Did she just say rejoice? Yep. Sure did. I am so thankful for a Sovereign God who is working for me and for my family, closing some doors and opening others, so one day our family - the one He designed - will be together.
"For since the world began, no ear has heard and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him!" (Isaiah 64:4, NLT)
"The Lord will work out his plans for my life - for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever (Psalm 138:8)
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." (Romans 8:28)
And finally, a quote from Andy Stanley that I have recently found encouraging - "Waiting time is not wasted time for anyone in whose heart God has placed a vision. Difficult time. Painful time. Frustrating time. But not wasted time."
It's very likely we've got a long wait ahead of us - probably longer than we had originally thought. And it's definite that there will be some difficult, painful, and frustrating times in there. But we continue to trust in the Lord and rejoice, knowing that His ways are better than ours, and He is at work while we wait!
2 comments:
Waiting is really hard. Im one of those people who always wants to see the end result and not enjoy the journey to get to the end result. But that journey is so important. Im sure God has a lot to teach you in these months ahead if you let him. For me, its being a stay at home mom with no "ministry" per se-and no end in site because we want more kids, but this is the time he is growing me closer to Him. Some of the growth has been painful, some not, but Im sure the Lord will teach you something-many things!- while you wait for Him. "be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplications make your requests known to God". Im an anxious person. I breathe anxiousness! I will be praying the Lord will help you to not be anxious, but to enjoy these precious moments in the here and now. -kls
The wait is SO hard, but trust me when I say that the wait is all worth it in the end. You'll never forget the wait, but once you hold that child in your arms it will feel like a distant memory. Praying, blogging, and friends who have been there done that is what helped us through both of our waits for both of our daughters!
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