Then I checked my email.
We had one from the Africa staff at AWAA. It read in part, "As the wait time trend has continued to increase, we see the need to amend the timeframe in order to better represent expectations for families receiving referrals. The wait times are increasing from 14-18 months to 18-24 months for a male or female infant or toddler." Further down, it also said, "If clearances for children continue to be processed at the current rate, wait times could increase again in the future."
Suddenly I really didn't feel like writing about nice things, like butterflies, rainbows, unicorns, or lego marshmallows. I wanted to curl up in a ball under the covers and not come out until there was some good news. (I didn't, of course. I put on my happy face and continued with our evening dinner plans - a Chinese/Japanese buffet with Jon's parents, our exchange student, and another exchange student whose host family (all four members!) are currently ill. It ended up being a great evening, for which I was very thankful!)
I have a journal of notes that I keep for each of my kids. For my kids that are here, I write about the funny things they do and say, the new things they are learning, etc. For my Africans, I write about how I can't wait to meet them and where we are in the process. Here's what I wrote this morning...
"We got an email from (our family coordinator) yesterday saying that the wait time has increased to 18-24 months. I felt undone with disappointment. Trying to trust in God's perfect timing, but it is hard. All I can think of is, that's at least one more - or possibly two more Christmases without you. And that the brother Jackson wants so badly to share a room with will be so much younger than him. I want to go to Ethiopia and plead my case -
"Don't you understand? We are ready NOW!"
"The thing is, I had this all worked out so our son would come home and fit (age-wise) perfectly in our family."
"I was so great at getting all that paperwork done!"
"Things went so smoothly for us - they were supposed to continue to do that!"
And then the questions began-
Are we not hearing God right?
Should we expand our age range?
Should we transfer all our info to a different country?
Should we apply to do a concurrent adoption?
The questions are there. The answers are not. So we wait."
Bit of a downer, no? That was definitely my mood this morning. Even after opening up my Bible Study and completing a lesson all about FAITH. (Yes, I tend to be stubborn at times). I was being cynical and realized I was even annoying myself when I caught myself rolling my eyes at scoffing at Chuck Swindoll's pronunciation of one of Pittsburgh's three rivers. (Yes, Mr. Swindoll, with great respect I can now admit that there could be more than one way of saying Monongahela).
Good mood or no, I set to work doing party prep, with a local Christian radio station playing in the background. That, my friends, was a miracle in itself. Usually when I'm in a bad mood, I listen to country music....because the people in those songs seem to have waaay more problems than me! James Macdonald's "Walk in the Word" came on, and I listened more closely because he is someone I have respected a lot since he visited our college a few (ok, several. maybe bordering on many.) years ago. Yet again, God met me right where I was at. The title of the sermon was "Peace in the Storm." Can I get an AMEN?!
I highly encourage you to go listen to the sermon here. It should be available for a few weeks. Some of my favorite points/quotes.....
- "God knows it is hard to trust Him. He sees us in the moment. That's why he makes promises."
- "Biblically waiting on God is resting in Him. Don't let the one thing become the focus of your life."
- "You don't need to see signs that God is working! You don't need to know exactly what is happening!"
- Hebrews 6:15, NKJV ~ "And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise." (The "he" in this passage is Abraham, and is referring to the promise of a son).
And now, for your viewing pleasure, the totally random picture of the day.....
...this little girl sure keeps me smiling!!!